Boys and shoes….


Can you not just tell this is going to be a good story already? Well this is actually the end of the story but really it’s Friday and what better way to kickoff the weekend than a bit of eye candy.

So this story actually begins yesterday morning when my husband woke up in a really good mood. I swear that I had nothing to do with it because I went to bed with my day 3 Migraine. No girls, the real migraine…. You know when you can barely open your eyeballs? Anyway, with a migraine like that I could not dream of putting my hair up in my customary going to bed ponytail. So I woke up with this really interesting case of bed hair that looked like I was responsible for the smile on my husbands face, but truly that was not the case. Anyway, because I had a rotten day before there were a few pair of shoes and the boxes next to my side of the bed which is uncommon as they go from the trunk to the closet but like I said I wasn’t feeling well.  Now what does this have to do with the picture above? Be patient, I am getting there and there is another picture you need to see.

I am putting my youngest in my husband’s car for the customary drop off to school when he says…. (When he is in a good mood, he loves to tease me)…. “I like your hair. Did you comb it with one of those new pair of shoes you bought? Are they dual action shoes? Wear them and style your hair with them?”

It. Is. On! I give him a sly grin and say, “That’s fine, Bud Kline. Go enjoy your day.”

Now I am not really bothered but I like to torment him right back, so I ignore his attempts to get my attention and I go back in the house to get ready for a luncheon to raise money for the Center for Family Services.

He sends this God awful picture from Bing or Google or hell… I don’t know where he got it but here he goes…..
Funny? I think not!

So off I go to the luncheon and who do I see? That’s right Manolo boy and his buddy who wasn’t quite as delicious but only by a hair. So I snicker and ask if I may take his picture as posted above. He says, “Certainly” with this accent and I swear all the women in a 10 foot radius stop dead in their tracks and are telepathically delivering to this poor man the most salacious thoughts, except for me because I am happily married to a ball buster and I feel like a creeper just asking to take his picture. Well, I try to snap it but it is backlit and blurry and I am so embarrassed I just take what I can get…. And send it off with no text to my husband.

“Ting” goes my phone with his incoming reply. “Kick him in his balls!”

Now I wouldn’t be the woman we know I am if I let the opportunity pass me by for retribution of the taunt from earlier that morning. So I text him back….

“I have to go. Eduardo is going to “comb” my hair.”

And he wouldn’t be the man that we know he is without the last word. “Good one.”

Now I got the last picture in but let’s cut to the chase. I own a few pair of Manolos and they are hands down the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE shoes in my closet but I am willing to overlook this and I purchase raffle tickets for 6 more pair of hell just because Manolo boy suggests it. This was a well-developed plan by a gay man, I know it. This was a piece of man candy, ridiculously handsome and well-built carrying a tray of fabulous shoes while the champagne was flowing… All that was missing was chocolate…. So the women were feeling good and…. Well I am going to say it. I almost felt a bit badly for those boys. They were man meat and if the tables were turned, well it wouldn’t be pretty. I turn from taking his picture and I swear a woman who could be my grandmother says loudly for Eduardo/Francesco to hear, “Keep the shoes. I will take him!” And she is deadly serious. She wants….To. Put. The. Naughty. On. Him. She doesn’t care if she throws a hip out in the process, she is like Eartha Kitt in Boomerang. And her girlfriend in the sensible shoes who hit 70 eons ago, wants a piece too. I turn back to him and he is actually visibly frightened. I hope they snuck him out from the kitchen, poor thing….. With the magnificent….shoes…. I was going to say shoes….. Get your mind out of the gutter! And if you think my husband was upset, he wasn’t because I woke up this morning with bad hair and he had a smile on his face again and everyone was a winner.

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